Welcome all;
Being blind isn't the end of the world. It is actually the beginning of a new one. One in which you realize all the things you should have thought of a long time ago to be thankful for. First, I'm not institutionalized like so many blind are. They are institutionalized because they gave up. They did not feel they were capable of taking care of themselves or they simply didn't want to. Whatever the reason. I do get down at times when I realize that everything has to be read to me on the internet, or, that I have to depend on others for tasks that were at one time extremely simple. There are times when you have to stop and think if the decision you made was the right one. Yet, I tell myself, it has to be because it was my decision. Depending on others is more scary than being blind itself. Most of those that you realize you have to depend on are people you don't know. I hear all the time from all around me about being safe. What a joke! Where is it written, anywhere, that we are guaranteed "safety"? Where? I want to know. There is only one way to guarantee safety in this world, you have to put your faith in something. I choose the one that put us here to start with.
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I have hurt a lot of people that did not deserve to be hurt. Why did I do these things? I ask myself the same question every second of everyday. I ask myself these questions not in hopes of finding answers, but, in hopes of not making the same mistake twice. I drive people away from me these days in fear of them getting close to me and getting hurt, also. Am I a bad person? Not in my minds eye, just confused. I am constantly in pain. I am constantly forgetting things that I really do need to remember. Do I expect those that I hurt to forgive me? I pray every night that they don't. It is the only way to keep being reminded that "I messed up". Do I hurt because they don't forgive me, oh, in so many more ways than I could ever express. So, that being said, I realize I hurt more on the inside than I do on the outside, or physically so to speak. The two actually do go hand in hand.
Where am I going with this? I hope that someone else reading this opens their eyes, forgive the pun, to realize that every moment of everyday, you have to constantly remind yourself that others have feelings and needs also. The minute you forget this or simply put it to the side is the minute you have crossed the line that separates us from being human or being a monster (animal). Hope everyone has a pleasant day.
Walter.
Being blind isn't the end of the world. It is actually the beginning of a new one. One in which you realize all the things you should have thought of a long time ago to be thankful for. First, I'm not institutionalized like so many blind are. They are institutionalized because they gave up. They did not feel they were capable of taking care of themselves or they simply didn't want to. Whatever the reason. I do get down at times when I realize that everything has to be read to me on the internet, or, that I have to depend on others for tasks that were at one time extremely simple. There are times when you have to stop and think if the decision you made was the right one. Yet, I tell myself, it has to be because it was my decision. Depending on others is more scary than being blind itself. Most of those that you realize you have to depend on are people you don't know. I hear all the time from all around me about being safe. What a joke! Where is it written, anywhere, that we are guaranteed "safety"? Where? I want to know. There is only one way to guarantee safety in this world, you have to put your faith in something. I choose the one that put us here to start with.
I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I have hurt a lot of people that did not deserve to be hurt. Why did I do these things? I ask myself the same question every second of everyday. I ask myself these questions not in hopes of finding answers, but, in hopes of not making the same mistake twice. I drive people away from me these days in fear of them getting close to me and getting hurt, also. Am I a bad person? Not in my minds eye, just confused. I am constantly in pain. I am constantly forgetting things that I really do need to remember. Do I expect those that I hurt to forgive me? I pray every night that they don't. It is the only way to keep being reminded that "I messed up". Do I hurt because they don't forgive me, oh, in so many more ways than I could ever express. So, that being said, I realize I hurt more on the inside than I do on the outside, or physically so to speak. The two actually do go hand in hand.
Where am I going with this? I hope that someone else reading this opens their eyes, forgive the pun, to realize that every moment of everyday, you have to constantly remind yourself that others have feelings and needs also. The minute you forget this or simply put it to the side is the minute you have crossed the line that separates us from being human or being a monster (animal). Hope everyone has a pleasant day.
Walter.
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